Why I Hate Twilight

The new movie in the “Twilight” series came out today. I thought I’d tell you why I hate the Twilight series. (I’ve read the first 3 books. Don’t need to read the 4th.)

1. Bella Swan is a Mary Sue (perfect character. no flaws.)
2. Edward Cullen is a stalker.
3. The vampires SPARKLE.
4. Edward is abusive.
5. Bella is annoying.
6. Stephenie Meyer spends every other page describing how hot Edward is. We get it already.
7. The books tell girls it’s ok to get pregnant at 18, drop out of school, and give your baby to your male “best friend” who apparently “fell in love” with your baby.
8. Vampires are supposed to be infertile. Because they’re DEAD.
9. The “love story” between Bella and Edward is entirely superficial. Bella loves Edward because he’s hot, Edward loves Bella because she smells nice.
10. If Bella is so awkward and clumsy, why does she get so many guys giving her so much attention at her first week of a new school?
11. Emmett Cullen only turns teenagers to vampires. Creepy?
12. The werewolves aren’t actually werewolves. They’re more like shapeshifters. Werewolves only turn at a full moon.
13. Only two characters die in the whole series.
14. The crazy fangirls. I am a fangirl. I am not militant or crazy. Take notes.
15. The best characters are given no development and are ignored. (Alice, the Volturi)

There’s probably more, but this is good for now. Long live Harry Potter.

From Facebook group "Lord Voldemort is pure Evil. He turned Cedric Diggory into Edward Cullen."

Ridiculous

These are things/ people I find ridiculous (which means it’s also hilarious, unnecessary, or both). This list will probably grow quite a bit.

1. Oklahoma lawmakers.
2. There’s no air conditioning in the booth I work in, so it’s extremely hot.
3. Middle aged women who like Twilight.
4. Twilight in general.
5. The penny.
6. The $50 bill.
7. The Tulsa Zoo.
8. Big Splash water park in Tulsa.
9. The “Saw” movies.
10. Plane ticket prices.
11. Militant religious people.
12. Some of my friends.

Dinner For Six!

If you could have dinner with 5 people, alive or dead, real or fictional, who would you choose?

Here’s who I’d pick, with some runners-up.

1. John Lennon- Why not? The man is a legend. Musically gifted, all about promoting peace, and just to speak to him would be an amazing experience.

People for Peace

2. J.K. Rowling- She wrote the books that made reading cool again. Screw Twilight.

JKR

3. Robin Williams- He’s interesting. He makes movies as different as “Good Will Hunting” and “Aladdin”. I’d love to have a chat sometime.

Cool Glasses, Dude!

4. Merlin- Fictional wizard… “Lived” during one of the greatest soap operas of all time. Here’s a picture of the current Merlin:

Colin Morgan plays Merlin on the BBC show of the same name.

5. Rupert “Ripper” Giles- Because I’m on an Anthony Stewart Head binge right now. But Giles= a sexy British librarian. Who has a dark side. How can you resist?

Love that smirk...

So those are my 5… Here are some runners-up though:

Anthony Stewart Head- Did I mention I’m on a high with this guy right now?

Tim Curry- How does such a fantastic actor get such crappy roles?

Mother Teresa- Why not?

King Arthur- Same reason as Merlin, except he was more of an idiot at times than Merlin.

Graham Chapman- Might be the most interesting (in my opinion) of the Monty Python group.

Emma Thompson- She’s lovely!

Stephen Fry- He’s lovely!

Any other guy on my “list”.